you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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