CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
