A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
