If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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