I'm really into asian looking animals
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Randomize
