Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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