If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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