I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
