I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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