There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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