whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
