well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
