let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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