So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
