so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
