'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
