I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
