oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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