Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
