Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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