Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
