he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
