he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
