My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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