Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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