How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize
