youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
That's when you crack a 10am beer
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
