Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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