I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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