he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
