Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
