I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
