google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I FOUND THE LEGS
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
The Olympian is in my bed
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
