i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
