billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
