just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
