your thong is hanging out like whoa
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
