i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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