guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
