Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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