just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
The struggles of a small town man whore
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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