this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
