Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize