using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
