can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize