Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
