Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
