I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
