I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize