Buhtt sex?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
