The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
