STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Mom said you looked used
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
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