I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
