We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
