Ketchup is God's man juice
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
tell me about the fingering
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