Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
