The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
