that's an acceptable place to lick
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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