i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
