Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
there was a trapeze. enough said
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
